dear diary,

FAT AND PROUD

“Why are you so fat?”

I didn’t like the sound of their voice when they said those words. I didn’t like the look of their eyes as they scanned my body up and down. Me, just 10 years old…

Read more

Bigger The Chin, Bigger The Smile

💖 The bigger the smile, the bigger the double chin! 💖

 

I hid this smile. I locked it behind years of shame. I laughed loud but I shielded the world from peering down at my crooked…

Read more

Arms Solid Like An Oak Tree

My body is a tree. 🌳

My arms are my roots. 🌲

 

They twist and turn and wrap themselves around whatever fuels me; whether person, book, guitar. My fingers reaching for the next source of…

Read more

Starting My Day Like Beyonce

Am I the only one who wakes up in the morning and thinks “Beyoncé already worked out this morning”? Comparison and shame should not be the creamer in my coffee. ☕️👑

 

Last October, I got off…

Read more

Dear Mom, Thanks For Loving Me Even Though I'm Queer

“Mom, I have to tell you something.” 

“Oh...kay. Well, just tell me.” 

“I met someone. I’m in love. I’m very happy...but she’s a woman.”

“Oh sweetie, that’s it? That’s what you were afraid to tell me? Why are you crying…

Read more

Life As Newlyweds Hasn't Been Easy

💕 She keeps me warm 💕



Life as newlyweds has been a mixture of both overwhelming, beautiful joy…and terrible grief. Unfortunately, this is incredibly common for recently married same sex couples. We got married on a hillside in…

Read more

My Body Is An Ocean

 

 

Look closely.

These rolls you see: up and down, back and forth, waves crashing on the shore with every breath and gasp from my lungs.

This back is the shore, these rolls are…

Read more

I Have No Idea What I'm Doing; Do You?

I’m 235 pounds of confusion and second guessing stuffed into size 18 jeans and I wake up every morning scared that today is going to be the day when the world realizes I have no idea what I’m doing…

Read more

Putting On My Oxygen Mask

I have bipolar disorder 2.

 

Despite having been given this diagnosis by three different psychiatrists...my brain has a tricky way of subtly convincing me to go off my meds, stop meditating, stop doing yoga, stop talking…

Read more

Gender Stereotypes Are Dumb; Also, JNCO Jeans

I wear baggy pants. A lot. Like, not JNCO style baggy. Oh my god. Please let us give praise to those days...


But I wear flannel (please hold the lesbian jokes), loose-fitted t-shirts, boots, sweatpants, hoodies, and on…

Read more

International Women's Day 2017

Today is International Women's Day. 
Today, I celebrate the women in my life. 
Today, I celebrate our work towards equality. 
Today, I reflect on why we need today at all. 

- Buying a drill at Home Depot, I was…

Read more

Get Ready To Launch...And Engaged!

The holidays for me were spent eating carbs, playing with my niece and nephews, having dinner with friends (more carbs), and getting engaged! THAT’S RIGHT! In Central Park, on a cold Winter day, she got down on one knee, asked…

Read more

YONA New York: Jersey Anywhere Dress

After a very successful first show in Roanoke, VA at The Spot on Kirk, Rah came to visit me on one of my rare weekends off while I'm on tour. We spent two days relaxing, eating carbs and cheese, and…

National Coming Out Day, 2016

I haven't always been the confident queer girl in this photo. 

 

Proudly waving a Pride flag in public, with the biggest of smiles, completely unafraid of telling the world she is queer and she is normal…

Read more

Hi. I'm heather mae.

Dear Diary,

My name is Heather Mae.

I am a singer-activist.
I am proudly bipolar and queer.
I am a fat babe who loves her body.
I am on a mission to prove that all humans are enough.


This diary is a place for my words left unsung. 

I AM ENOUGH.
AND SO ARE YOU.


xo
HM